This year, Allen and I will celebrate ten years of marriage.
Ten years of laughter, misunderstandings, prayers, growth, forgiveness, miracles, and quiet ordinary days that slowly built something sacred.
When I was younger, I thought marriage would always feel romantic. I imagined that love would be effortless if you married the right person.
But after ten years, I now understand something deeper:
Marriage is not sustained by feelings.
It is sustained by grace, commitment, and God.
Allen and I are not a perfect couple. We have gone through seasons of exhaustion, work pressure, financial concerns, and years of praying to conceive Adi. There were moments when we misunderstood each other, when pride tried to speak louder than love, and when silence felt easier than conversation.
Yet through every season, God patiently shaped our hearts.
Our Alpha Season
When Allen and I attended Alpha at New Life North Metro, we were not yet Christians. Alpha is an 11-week series of interactive sessions that gently introduce the basics of the Christian faith in a relaxed, honest, and non-judgmental environment. It gave us space to ask questions, listen to real stories, and reflect on what we truly believed.
We came with curiosity but also with quiet struggles in our hearts.
Week after week, something began to change in us.
We learned how to pray together, even when we feel akward.
We learned how to forgive sincerely instead of holding silent hurt.
We learned how to humble ourselves before God and before each other.
For the first time, we realized that marriage is not just about two people trying harder. It is about two hearts being transformed by God.
That Alpha season became a turning point in our relationship. It softened our pride, deepened our communication, and reminded us that love grows stronger when Christ becomes the center of the home.
Looking back now, I can say with gratitude:
That small decision to attend Alpha did not just change our faith; it changed our marriage, our family, and the direction of our lives.
What Love Really Means
The verse that has guided me through marriage is from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV):
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
When I read this before, it sounded beautiful. Now, after ten years, it feels like instruction.
Because patience is needed when your husband is tired and quiet.
Kindness is needed when you are hurt but choose gentle words.
Forgiveness is needed when mistakes happen again.
Perseverance is needed when prayers take years to be answered.
Love is not just poetry.
Love is daily discipline.
On Submission as a Strong Woman
As a strong, independent woman, I struggled before with the word submission. It sounded like losing my voice or my strength.
But as I grew in faith, I began to understand the heart of Ephesians 5:22-24.
Submission is not about being silent.
It is not about being less.
It is not about surrendering your identity.
It is about allowing your husband to lead while you support him with wisdom, prayer, and respect.
It is about trusting God’s order in marriage.
As leaders in our own careers, Allen and I both have strong opinions. But I learned that respecting him publicly, praying for him privately, and encouraging him sincerely strengthens our marriage.
When my husband feels supported, he leads better.
When I pray for him, God works in ways I cannot see.
When we honor each other, peace stays in our home.
Submission, in its true form, is an act of love.
Ten Takeaways After Ten Years
Here are lessons Allen and I learned in almost ten years of marriage:
- Pray together—even if awkward at first. Prayer softens hearts faster than arguments.
- Never keep score – forgiveness is not optional in marriage.
- Speak gently when emotions are high – words can heal or wound for years.
- Protect your marriage from outsiders – not everyone needs to know your struggles.
- Laugh often – joy is holy in a home.
- Grow spiritually together – serving in church together strengthened our bond.
- Support each other’s calling – Allen supports my leadership journey, and I support his work as an animal nutritionist serving farmers.
- Be patient with seasons – our miracle, Adi, came after years of prayer. God’s timing is perfect.
- Choose respect daily – respect is oxygen for a husband.
- Remember why you married – when love feels quiet, remember your covenant before God.
Marriage and Emotional Intelligence
Reading books like Emotional Intelligence Habits helped me understand that marriage also requires emotional maturity.
I learned to:
- Listen before reacting
- Understand Allen’s stress instead of judging
- Communicate clearly instead of assuming
- Manage my emotions before speaking
EQ matters not just in leadership but in marriage.
Because your spouse is not your opponent.
He is your partner.
A Word to Couples
Marriage is not about finding the perfect person.
It is about becoming the right person for each other.
Do not chase perfect love.
Chase God together.
Pray together.
Forgive quickly.
Encourage sincerely.
Laugh freely.
Stay faithfully.
Because when Christ is at the center, love grows deeper than romance, it becomes grace.
And grace… lasts.
Happy Valentine’s Day 💛
From our family—Allen, Adi, and me—
With gratitude to the God who held our marriage all these years.
🌹 Short Prayer for Marriage
Lord, thank You for the gift of marriage.
Teach us patience when we are tired, kindness when we are hurt, humility when we are proud, and forgiveness when we are wounded.
Help us honor each other, pray for each other, and grow together toward You.
May our homes reflect Your love.
In Jesus name, Amen.
My Brightest Light 
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