When Jesus spoke about the greatest commandments in Matthew 22:37-39, He said:

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’
This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Many of us focus on loving others but forget the last words—as yourself.
Jesus assumed that we would care for ourselves in a healthy, God-honoring way.

True self-love is not selfishness.
It is stewardship of the life God entrusted to us.

Here are five ways to love yourself biblically.

1. Know How God Created You

The first step in loving yourself is understanding how God uniquely made you.

The Bible reminds us in Psalm 139:14:

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.

This verse tells us something powerful:
You are not random. You are intentional.

Your personality, talents, strengths, sensitivities, leadership style, creativity; even the way you process emotions were part of God’s design.

When I was younger, I often compared myself to others; especially in leadership. Some leaders were louder, more assertive, or more charismatic. But as I grew, I realized God made me reflective, strategic, nurturing, and deeply relational.

When we understand our design, we stop fighting ourselves.

We start asking better questions:

• What gifts has God given me?
• What environments help me flourish?
• What drains my spirit?
• How can I serve God using my natural strengths?

Knowing yourself helps you walk confidently in your calling instead of living in insecurity.

When you honor how God created you, you honor God Himself.

2. Know Your Triggers and Manage Your Emotions

God created us with emotions, but He calls us to wisdom in handling them.

In Proverbs 4:23, we read:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

And in James 1:19:

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”

Loving yourself means understanding what hurts you, what stresses you, and what triggers fear or anger inside you.

For me, early in my career, mentors told me to grow in emotional intelligence. At first, it was hard to hear. But that feedback became a blessing. I began journaling, praying, and reflecting on my reactions.

I learned that when I am tired, I become impatient. When I feel unheard, I become defensive. When I feel pressure, I speak too quickly.

Knowing this allowed me to pause.

Managing emotions is not pretending everything is okay. It is acknowledging what you feel, bringing it to God, and responding with wisdom.

When we manage emotions well, we protect our marriage, our parenting, our leadership, and our peace.

3. Acknowledge Your Story Without Shame

Many people struggle to love themselves because they carry regret from the past.

But Scripture reminds us in Romans 8:1:

“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

And in Psalm 147:3:

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

God does not ask us to erase our story. He redeems it.

My own journey with PCOS, years of praying for a child, and the pressures of balancing leadership and motherhood shaped me deeply. There were moments of doubt, sadness, and fear.

But God used those seasons to teach patience, humility, and faith.

Today, when I see Adi running around our home, I remember that God writes miracles into waiting seasons.

When we accept our story in God’s grace, we stop living in shame and start living in purpose.

Your story is not something to hide.
It is something God can use.

4. Care for Your Mind, Body, and Soul

God created us as whole beings.

In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, we are told:

“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit,
who lives in you and was given to you by God?
You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price.
So you must honor God with your body.”

And we see in Luke 5:16:

Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”

Even Jesus rested, prayed, and cared for His spirit.

Before His ministry began, Jesus fasted for 40 days in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11). The devil tempted Him in ways that touch every part of our being.

• Body – Turn stones into bread (physical hunger)
• Mind – Test God’s promise by jumping from the temple
• Soul/Heart – Bow and receive the kingdoms of the world

Jesus answered each temptation with God’s Word.

This teaches us that caring for our mind, body, and soul is not luxury—it is spiritual discipline.

We love ourselves when we:

• Rest when tired
• Eat wisely
• Guard your thoughts
• Pray sincerely
• Spend time with God

Balance helps us stay strong.

When one area is neglected, our whole life feels heavy.

5. Loving Yourself Helps You Love Others Better

Healthy self-love makes healthy relationships.

In Ephesians 5:29, it says:

“No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it,

just as Christ cares for the church.“

When we care for ourselves in God’s way, we become more patient spouses, calmer parents, kinder leaders.

As Allen’s wife and Adi’s mom, I noticed that when I am exhausted, I become irritable. When I neglect my quiet time, I lose peace. When I ignore my emotions, I react quickly.

But when I care for my heart with God, I love them with joy.

Loving yourself is not pride.
It is preparation.

It allows us to give from fullness instead of emptiness

Questions for Reflection

• How did God uniquely create me?
• What emotional triggers do I need to bring to Him?
• What emotional triggers do I need to bring to Him?
• Where am I neglecting my mind, body, or soul?
• What self-care helps me love my family better?

A Prayer for You

Lord, teach us to see ourselves the way You see us.
Help us care for our hearts, bodies, and minds with wisdom and humility.
Heal our wounds, calm our fears, and remind us we are wonderfully made.
Let our self-love honor You so we can love others with patience, kindness, and grace.
In Jesus name, Amen.

Want to Go Deeper?

I created a printable reflection journal inspired by this message.
It includes Scripture prompts, prayer pages, and gentle reflections for your daily walk with God.

✨ Love Yourself the Way God Intended
Available in my Etsy shop Guided Reflections.

👉 Link here: